Mother’s Day is a special time to celebrate your mother, your grandmother, your mother-in-law and most of all, yourself! It can be overly busy and complicated and sometimes, just sometimes you don’t end up feeling very appreciated or celebrated. I’m here to tell the men and children what moms really want for Mother’s Day.

Note: No, not all moms are the same, though I’m sure most of you will be shouting, “YES!” when reading this.

What moms with kids at home really want:

1. She wants a day without cleaning.

Do not read that as a day where nothing gets cleaned. The point isn’t that she has twice the cleaning on Monday. And if you want to go all out and detail her car, she won’t complain.

2. She wants special time with loved ones.

She wants stressless time with family. If great uncle Martin always causes drama, don’t invite him. It’s Mom’s day. If there are 7 moms in your family that need celebrating, take 5 out to dinner Saturday night and keep the celebrations more low key on her special day.

3. She wants some time alone.

Moms, working and stay at home, don’t get a lot of time to do the things they want to do. She wants an hour (or four) to go get a manicure or just wander through a store to buy herself a new floppy hat. Or whatever. She just wants a little uninterrupted time.

4. She wants kind words.

She knows she isn’t perfect and you know she isn’t perfect but she doesn’t want to hear it today. She wants you to tell her the things you love about her and what makes her special to you.

What moms who have experienced the loss of a child or a mother want:

1. All of the above

2. They want you to remember their child or mother.

Make a special effort to recognize and acknowledge the pain this holiday may cause.

Now let’s talk about gifts.

I’ve gathered my top 5 favorite gifts and gadgets for moms. All moms are different, we’ve established that. But if you’ve got a mom in the “average” 80% there’s a chance she’ll love one of these.

A kindle or a tablet.

Being able to read her book and check her email while sitting on the bleachers watching the third soccer practice this week is a luxury she’ll appreciate. (affiliate links, buy wherever you like)

• Splurge: Apple iPad Air
• Intermediate: Kindle Fire HDX 7″
• Budget: Kindle, 6″ E Ink Display

A new vacuum. But only if you do it right.

This is tricky. You really don’t want her to think you’re giving her something so she can clean more. I suggest the vacuum comes with a promise to use it. It’s a gift that’s promising her less work. That’s always nice.

• Splurge: iRobot Roomba 770 Vacuum Cleaning Robot for Pets and Allergies
• Intermediate: Dyson DC58 Handheld Vacuum Cleaner
• Budget: Eureka EasyClean Corded Hand-Held Vacuum

The gift of feeling good.

Gifts that help her feel beautiful!

• Splurge: Clarisonic Mia 2 Sonic Skin Cleansing System
• Intermediate: An appointment for a manicure/pedicure
• Budget: Olay Pro-X Microdermabrasion Plus Advanced Cleansing System

Gift cards. Not just any gift cards.

Don’t go to your local grocery store and pick up the first gift card you see. Think about what she loves but wouldn’t usually buy for herself. I suggest:

• Anthropologie gift card: Great for women’s clothing and cute household goods.
• Amazon Gift Card: Great for buying books or downloading movies and music (plus everything else).
• Spa gift card: Perfect for making her feel pampered.
• Or ASK HER!

A good camera.

She wants to preserve the memories of her family. If she doesn’t have a camera that takes decent photos then she’ll love one of these.

• The avid photographer: Canon EOS 5D Mark III
• The ameteur enthusiast: Canon EOS Rebel T3i
• Great for the average woman. It fits in the purse!: Canon PowerShot ELPH 130
• A camera bag she’ll love: Jo Totes Camera Bags

Extra bonus points:

• Write her a poem
• Write her a list of all the things you love about her
• Do something special with a family photo
• Make her a special gift like these or these or even these.
• Ask her what she wants! Maybe she wants a new sewing machine or a fabric shopping spree, or a tent or possibly some new running shoes!

What do YOU want?